Author: sortlane1

With all that Val and I have been through in our married life, not just 2016 in our battle with breast cancer, I am surprised at how often I am surprised by God’s provision.  As I think back to many, many situations, God’s hand directing and guiding can be clearly seen.  And several times, as I recognize His hand I am surprised….. Is that because I doubt that God will provide at all or in the way He provides?  If I am honest with myself, both.

If I challenge myself to really have my eyes open to looking for His hand in our lives, then being surprised by how He provides is interesting to see because very often it is much different from what we thought humanly possible.  I am also challenged in that God’s provision doesn’t always mean life is rosy.  In fact, often it means that it is far from rosy.  But just because things are not comfortable doesn’t mean God is not in them and actively working to build His kingdom and building His kingdom is way more important than building my kingdom……

The most recent example of this being surprised by how He provides is currently occurring.  Way back in the middle of September when Val was in the middle of chemo treatment, a good friend challenged us to pick a date and go away to celebrate being done with active treatment.  Having a good hand on her treatment schedule for chemo and then radiation, we picked this particular week to be away.  Remember, we picked this week out of the blue way back in September.

As time went along, I got involved in a very big project at work that had a big deadline to meet by January 24th.  In fact, we looked at needing to be out of town for a site visit with the client this exact week as it was the only time that would fit into everyone’s schedule but mine.  Early on I shared with the client that I was going to be off the grid this week and so my work would need to be completed a couple of weeks early.  That extra push had me going and going right up to the week before we were scheduled to leave.  Then during a meeting with the client, they determined that the project was not going to be pursued as we had planned and our work could stop for the time being while other options were being considered.

And just like that, I had not much to do the entire week before we were set to leave!  At the time it was frustrating that all the work we had been doing on one of the most important projects I have ever been involved with had ground to a halt.  By the way, it is still frustrating….  Like I said, His provision doesn’t always mean life is rosy.

Val and I have now been away in the Georgia mountains this entire week and for the first time in a long time, my deck is cleared.  This has really allowed us space to be away and just rest in a secluded cabin on a mountain side with a river nearby.  Rest and recuperate with no pressure that we are missing something or leaving something unattended while we are away.  What a gift!  Thank you God for your provision!

Here is another little fun story on God’s provision…… our cabin has a hot tub outside which we have had the pleasure of enjoying each evening.  The lock on the cabin is one of those time sensitive electric push button jobs with a custom code just for us.  Mind you this code is not just three numbers, it is something like nine.  Anyway the first night we went out to enjoy the hot tub I brought my phone along as a second thought.  We get all done and get out to go inside except our cool electronic door had decided to automatically lock!  Now mind you I do have a bathing suit on but not much more than that and a towel.  And we are out in the middle of nowhere.  Fortunately, God put in my head to save the door lock number on my phone along with the idea to have it outside with us.  What could have turned into a long walk to who knows where to get help so we could get back in was actually not much of a thing at all.  Thank you God for your provision!

Here are some pictures of our week, enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Time Magazine award for “Person of the Year” was a recent topic of conversation on a local radio station I listen to regularly on my way into the office.  The radio hosts were asking callers to respond by letting the station know who they would name as person of the year.

As I was presented with that question, it didn’t take me long to think of who I would name as the Gordon Family “Person of the Year”.  We do not even know this person’s name.  Somewhere in the greater Grand Rapids area is a Radiologist who first detected the anomaly on Val’s mammogram results back in March of this year.

The reason this Radiologist holds such a special place in our hearts is that Val’s tumor(s) were of the rare “lobular carcinoma” kind.  These types of tumors are extremely hard to detect on a routine mammogram such as Val’s.  Since the do not originate in the ducts of the breast, which is much more common, they do a good job of hiding amongst the tissue.  It was feasible that Val’s cancer may have gone undetected for much, much longer.

Val ended up having three small tumors which did not fully reveal themselves until much more extensive testing was performed.  Even though those three small tumors were later determined to be very slow growing, they had managed to migrate amongst her lymph nodes and were found to be in a total of four.  This was the main reason her cancer was determined to be at “Stage 3” of four.

When we finally figured out the classification of her tumor, the extent of it and made a game plan on how to kill it, our Oncologist mentioned that we should be very thankful for this unknown Radiologist who made the initial discovery.  We are extremely thankful!!!

Remember this Radiologist probably has no idea what he or she actually did for our family and may never this side of Heaven.  I am continually reminded that we have an impact on people’s lives in ways we could never comprehend.  The smallest thing we do, that we may not even notice, may have the greatest impact on one of our fellow human beings.  I am challenged, intimidated and thankful that God uses us, broken vessels that we are, for having a positive impact on His world.  Even when we have no idea…….

The scary thing is that this goes both ways…. both for the positive and also for the negative……  That is a sobering thought for me and a good challenge!

Now onto an update on Val.  Her last radiation treatment is tomorrow and we are very thankful that this part of the process has been remarkably trouble free.  The medical folks keep telling her to expect redness and sunburn symptoms which has not happened.  She has been going to Lemmon Holton five days a week, gets zapped and then heads out about 30 minutes later.  No fuss, no muss.  Unless you get lost in the hospital and accidentally get locked into a restricted area waiting for someone to let you out (not naming names Val).

People who know my wife, know that it is hard to tell when she is hurting or doesn’t feel good.  That woman has more grit than anyone else I know.  She is tough!  When she felt absolutely horrible during chemo, the best way to tell how bad she actually felt was to evaluate how much laundry and grocery shopping I was doing.  By the way, Sam and I got pretty good at speed shopping through Meijer for a full grocery run!  We were continually seeing if we could get could a better time than last time.  Well I haven’t done a load of laundry in way over a month and no grocery runs.  The other way you can tell how good she is feeling is to know that we are now fostering 6 kittens for the next several weeks.  They came from the shelter where she has volunteered the past couple of years.  She has gotten pretty good at chasing  those kitty’s around the house!

We have made a game plan for the next treatment program, which is a long term project.  Her cancer was 95% receptive to estrogen, which is what was feeding her tumors.  Because of that, shutting down her estrogen production is a great way to lower the risk of recurrence.  This is normally done by taking a pill once a day for 10 years.

As in most things medical with Val, her case is a little different.  One of the other drugs she is on does not play nice with the normal drug utilized for this treatment.  So, she gets the added bonus of getting a shot in the belly every 28 days while also being put on a different pill for 10 years.  The good thing is we learned this treatment plan is a particular effective method of accomplishing the goal of shutting down her estrogen production.

Thank you again for upholding our family in prayer and we ask that you continue!  Having our family and friends upholding us in prayer is one of the most encouraging things for us!

The Lord has really provided for us in some cool ways this past year.  We are learning and growing!  Growing closer to each other and closer to Him.  May His name be praised through this experience and may we all go and do some small gesture for someone else which changes their world!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi guys, this is Val filling in as a guest writer for Marc. I apologize right off the bat because I am not as inspired a writer as Marc .Give me some data and numbers and I can rock  out a darn good lab report along with the best of ’em 🙂 Ask me to share my feelings-that’s a lot harder for me!

Today I had my last chemo treatment. To say that I had mixed feelings about it is an understatement. On one hand I had conquered this challenge that seemed insurmountable at the beginning of treatment. A week of being hospitalized right from the beginning, feeling lousy for 8 weeks, horrible panic attacks related to the chemo, appointments that seemed like they would never end. On the other hand, we have become close with our nurse and will really miss her. There was also a comfort in knowing that I would have someone checking on me weekly and knowing that the chemo was killing cancer cells. Are the cells all gone? I don’t know and that bothers me. My prayer to God is that by the end of radiation all of the cancer will be destroyed. I really want to see my kids grow up, graduate, get married, and have kids of their own. I really want to grow old with Marc. A lesson that God has been teaching me is to be grateful for the gift of each day I am given and to not worry or think too much about the future. This is probably a lesson that I will be working on for the rest of my life. I thank God for having me in the palm of His hand and being with me every step of the way. I am BLESSED!!

My wonderful husband set up a surprise last day of chemo shower. I started the morning with a friend surprising me in the waiting room with balloons and skin lotion. Then after I got settled in my cubicle and chemo was started, my nurse and several other nurses came around the corner with the most flowers, balloons, gifts and cards that I have ever seen! Another friend stopped by with a hug and a card. We needed a cart to get everything out to the car. One sad note; as we exited the building a gust of wind pulled on the balloons and knocked a vase off:-(  Thankfully we were able to rescue the flowers and someone was right there to sweep up the broken glass. When we got home someone had dropped off two sets of balloons and a vase of flowers for me. Tonight we were able to go out as a family and have a celebratory dinner! Even had someone buy us a dessert! To all of you who brightened my day today, thank you! I am BLESSED!

At home with all of my blessings.

Now what? As Marc mentioned in his post from yesterday, radiation is on the horizon in 2-3 weeks. I feel ready to get started ASAP. Time to move on and move forward! I should be done by the end of the year and then think about having more reconstructive surgery in the summer. Thank you to those of you who have been with my family and me on this journey. Thank you for the prayers. Thank you for the meals. Thank you for the cards and gifts. Thank you to the friend who cleaned my house, the friend who made soup weekly for me, the friend who is a cancer survivor and took me under her wing. Thank you to the friends who ran kids around when I couldn’t. Thank you to the people I am forgetting. A big thank you to my family. They have been my earthly rock and  I couldn’t have done it without them. Thank you to my Father God, my ultimate rock. I would not be here now without His strength, love, healing, and intervention in my life. I AM BLESSED!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week has seen us with many doctor’s appointments as we transition from Val’s last chemo session tomorrow and onto the next steps of treatment.  We met early this week with the radiation oncologist to talk through the next treatment plan along with her on oncology doc to map out a long term follow up plan.

Val has an appointment next week where she will sit absolutely still for a very long time while they scan her body to map out the treatment area.  After that scan is complete, the doctors will go away and invest several hours in building the treatment plan to make sure that they radiate exactly where they want to and nowhere they don’t.  I like to think of it in terms that they will go and “engineer” the process.  She will also get some new tattoo’s that the team will use to line her up in the machine for treatment.  In my best Austin Powers voice, they will use a high intensity light source also known as a “laser” to line up the tattoos with the machine to make sure she is in exactly the same position for each treatment.

The actual radiation treatments are very short and probably only take 30 minutes from the time she enters the building to the time she exits.  She will get radiation treatment for 5 days a week and probably last 6 to 7 weeks.  The actual radiation treatments won’t begin for a few weeks yet while they let her recover from chemo a bit.  For side effects we have been told to expect her to be a bit fatigued and probably have some skin irritation where they radiate.

With much consulting, thought and prayer we have decided to forgo trying to get her expander put back in before starting radiation.  After talking with the docs to weigh the pros and cons, it seems best take the more conservative route and not introduce a process which may result in unnecessary complications.

The main goal is Val’s long term health by making sure all the cancer cells go bye, bye.  On the back end, Val will have a more extensive reconstructive surgery after waiting 6 months or so after radiation.  Our plastic surgeon is a very skilled doctor and if there was one person who we would want to do a more complex plastic surgery, he is it.

With Val’s last chemo treatment coming to and end tomorrow we have been told to expect it to be a bitter sweet time.  We are very excited to be done pumping poison, but have grown really attached to her oncology nurse and the entire oncology medical staff.  In some sense, we loose a little safety net with her not being seen weekly by this team.

On that note of medical team, Val’s breast surgeon, who we absolutely love and have not seen for several months called out of the blue yesterday to congratulate her on being done with chemo.  How cool is that!  A very busy doctor who we have not talked to in months, taking time out of her busy schedule to make a phone call to a patient!  It just goes to show you that very small things can mean an awful lot!

On the philosophical side, this transition to the next treatment phase brings about renewed thoughts of prognosis and what will happen in the future.  We have had our “heads down” plowing through chemo and now get a chance to come up for air a bit which allows a place for those thoughts to grow.

Val used to be very interested to know the percentages of this or that with a possible re-occurrence.  We had a good talk the other day about this subject and thinking through how we would live our life at two extremes.  The first extreme being that if we could know for positive that the cancer would return and the second extreme being that if we could know for positive it would never return.  We have really come to have peace with this thought and with the uncertainty.

 

In actuality, we have continue to learn how to just live one day at a time, taking each day as a gift.  My prayer is that we continue to live together with that mindset for many, many years to come.  Living this way helps me personally not get so “wrapped around the axle” on little things that used to really bother me.  One of my personal concerns on the far side of this experience is that I will lose that perspective and go back to old thought patterns.  It is easy to forget and I will need to continue to work at this mindset because my default setting is the opposite.

We continue to lean heavily on the Lord, knowing that HE is GOD and we are not!  He has a plan and holds us in his care.  He has continually met our needs in the very smallest of ways that are very tangible evidence of His watchful eye and love for us.

Thank you to all of you for your love and support as we walk this journey of faith together!  Let’s get on with the next steps!  Let her glow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overall Val has had a pretty good couple of weeks. Today is treatment #9 of #12 and chemo is scheduled to finish up on October 21.  We had a friend stop my with flowers at today’s treatment who has really latched onto Val during our journey. All of the cards, phone calls and visits are greatly appreciated!

This phase continues to go good with the only side effect being that each successive week Val is a little more tired.  We updated you last time about some extra testing on her thyroid due to a continuing funny feeling in her throat. Those tests came back with the good news that everything looked good. The doc thinks the throat irritation is being caused by the chemo and should go away after a while. 

We are still working on developing a plan for next steps after chemo. Our goal was to try and get the missing expander back in before radiation starts, making final reconstruction easier. The Oncology Doc is good waiting 4 weeks before starting radiation.  After consulting with the Plastics doc it looks like we would need more time than that so best guess is that we will move directly to radiation after taking a little break when chemo is done. The two docs are still consulting each other and we should know in the next couple of weeks for sure the next step. 

Thank you again for all your support! Even the smallest gestures mean a lot. Your continued prayers are wonderful. Please be praying that as plans are made for next steps that wise decisions are made and the way the Lord wants us to take is clear. 

Today was treatment #6 of #12. We are half way through the last phase of chemo!  Val continues to handle this phase better than the last. 

We met with her Oncologist this morning and continued the conversation of when / how to best handle the upcoming reconstruction steps since we are off the original game plan when one of her expanders became infected and needed to be removed early in phase 1 of chemo.  Nothing conclusive on the game plan yet but her Oncologist and Plastic surgeon are going to communicate to see what may be possible to make the final reconstruction process as easy as possible. 

She also has been bothered the past few weeks with a sensation in her throat that feels like something is stuck. With her history of thyroid challenges, an ultrasound is being scheduled to investigate and make sure there is nothing jiffy going on there. 

Thank you for continuing to lift us up in prayer!  So many have expressed that they are praying and it is a great encouragement!

Marc

It has been a few weeks since we last updated you all.   I have missed the last couple of chemo treatments and my sister Jodi did a great job of filling in for me. 

Val is on #4 of #12 of her weekly treatments today. This latest chemo regimen has been much easier for Val to handle. Her tummy hasn’t been as upset and her anxiety challenges have not been an issue!  On the Friday of her treatments she is pretty tired but other than that things have been going smoothly. 

The kids are getting all set for school which starts this coming Monday.  Marching Band has been in full swing for several weeks with Sam and Kara starts fall soccer season right after Labor Day. It feels good to transition to fall activities and a new schedule. 
One thing that has really struck me during these treatment days is that cancer doesn’t discriminate. There is lots of waiting on treatment days in between the blood draws, nurse visit and then onto the actual infusion process. This provides me ample time to indulge in one of my favorite activities, “people watching”. 

As I observe all the other people doing their waiting as well, you see people from all genders, nationalities and ethnic groups. Young and old alike and it always seems so busy.

This disease has touched many lives and we are all related to each other through the struggle.  It is hard to contemplate and wrap my mind around.

As I was doing my devotions the other day I came across this thought that really resonated with me …..

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From Chuck Swindoll’s Daily Devotion. 

Have you noticed how suffering brings people together? Have you watched how people join forces to respond to disasters? Hardship forces us to grab hands with one another and pull up closer together. Suffering never ruined a nation! Hardship doesn’t fracture families. Affluence does! But not suffering. Not hardship. It pushes everybody to the same level with the same goal: survival. 

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Thank you to all of you who have grabbed hands with Val and our family as we walk this journey together. 

Marc

Wow does 3 weeks go by fast!  Above are just a few pictures of what has gone on the past 3 weeks and it has been a good sabbatical from treatment.

The first week after our last treatment we laid pretty low as Val was recovering from her last treatment from the first phase of chemo.  I was traveling that week and Val’s mom and dad came to stay while I was gone.  Unfortunately during a storm one of the trees in our yard decided it didn’t want to be up any longer.  It came down and squarely landed on my in-laws van totaling it in the process.  We sustained a little house damage but nothing too big that can’t be fixed.  You can get a feel for how large the tree was in the picture of Sam with the left over stump.

The second week we were without kids as Sam was off to Band Camp and Kara off to Grace Adventures for Horse Camp.  It was a good week for all of us as the kids both had great times at their respective camps along with Val and I getting a little time alone.  We had a nice week visiting with friends, going out to eat and just generally resting.

The third week was filled with a few more activities with one of those being a trip to Chicago for a concert to see Hillsong UNITED and Lauren Daigle at the United Center.  What a great concert and wonderful time of worship!

Today we start Phase 2 of chemo treatment.  For the next 12 weeks Val will get a chemo treatment every Friday.  This Phase 2 treatment is a different drug from the first phase and our understanding is that most people handle this phase better.  As part of this treatment cycle she will get a big dose of Benadryl which will most likely make her sleepy.  She will also get the same dose of steroid as from the first phase.  As you may remember, this steroid was the thing that caused her the most challenge with keeping her motor running and having trouble sleeping.  Now that she is getting this dose weekly instead of every other week, we are a little concerned about the side effect it may have on her.

So we are off onto the next phase of treatment!  We would ask that you continue to lift us up in prayer.  Specifically that Val has very little side effects from the steroid.  Thank you so much for the love and support!  We are so very encouraged by all of you standing with us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is treatment number 4 of 4 for the first round of chemo.  This past week has been pretty good with her sleeping ok and feeling ok.  Val then has a three week break before starting the next round.

Today she was asked to be part of a clinical trial for the next round that is only 46 patients from across the country.  The trial is testing a new cold therapy while the chemo is given to help mitigate a side effect in the hands and feet.  She has a few days to think about if she wants to participate but she is leaning that way.

Many of you may not know, but I (Marc) have and continue to resist the urge to open up a Facebook account.  Since my wife trusts me with her password I get to troll her account every now and then.  Ok probably more now than then!  It has resulted in a few challenges like figuring out my Father’s Day gift early because she was FB messaging the family that made it for me.  Oh well….

So this past week I was trolling and found that Val had posted a response to someone else’s post about “The lie that God won’t give us more than we can handle”.  My wife is a fairly quiet person and doesn’t share what’s on her mind very often.  So when I was reading her post, it deeply moved me with thoughts I didn’t know she had worked through.  I thought you might find these words encouraging as well.

“Confronting the lie: God won’t give you more than you can handle” – Nate Pyle

Valerie Hoard Gordon I love this. As someone who has gone and currently is going through a situation that I can’t see my way out of on my own strength, God DOES give us more than we can handle. It is times like these that make us (at least in my experience) determine what we truly believe about God and our faith. It is times like these that we have to let go, because we can’t do it on our own strength, and must fully cling to and rely on God. It is times like these that others (hopefully) see the power and love and truth of God. When people say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, even though they mean well, it is theologically dangerous. Realistically if God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, why would we even need him? If someone wants to give me encouragement, it means so much more to get a hug from them and have them tell me that they are praying for me.